I hadn’t had the pleasure of drinking a good Hefeweizen in some time. It’s something like the American microbrew equivalent of a gateway drug, eschewed by those who have graduated from the pot of beers and moved onto the harder stuff. But it’s actually quite tasty, particularly that which is brewed in Southern Germany.

It can only be properly enjoyed in the right glass, which I purchased along with the bottle earlier today. The ease with which the bottle slips into the glass is, like South America and Africa, no coincidence. The pour starts with the insertion of the uncapped bottle into the inverted glass. At that point the whole assembly is flipped over, the beer contained by the same principle that prevents the office water cooler from spilling its contents onto the mottled Berber.

In a perfect Hefeweizen pour, the bottle is slowly withdrawn from the glass, emptying its contents as air is drawn in above the ascending surface of the beer in the glass. In my case, it’s important to note that office water coolers typically aren’t carbonated. So in place of a graceful dance of beer and glass, I had a big foamy mess on my hands. I guess I’ll need some more painstaking practice.

But as the old saying goes, its all the same in your stomach, and all the more in your bloodstream. Just don’t fuck it up with a slice of lemon.


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